You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
