dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
