im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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