We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Randomize
