I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
