Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
