420 ftw
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
