i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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