he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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