Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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