MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
