I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
