Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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