I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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