What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
