I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
