what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
