I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
