i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
