you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
