She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
