I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
