i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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