one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
