I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
