It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
