I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
