At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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