i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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