Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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