U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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