You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
