Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
