WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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