apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
