Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
