I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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