This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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