my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
