She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you had me at cake vodka
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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