If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
