Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
