My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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