The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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