i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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