i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize