God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize