every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
