Michael Bay diarrhea
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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