when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
