I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
