We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And then my night got REAL pukey
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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