A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
