Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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