so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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