and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize