I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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