If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
