John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
