I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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