Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize