i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
