we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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