Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize