Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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