He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
In the future we'll all be gay
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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