my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
