Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize