quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
