those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
